Additionally, the answer can help those of us who might be overweight consider that maybe despite our partner’s kindness and understanding and helping remove stigma and make us comfortable, maybe it’s time to stop overindulging without having to be asked.
This is the first part of the thread to actually straight-up offend me. It’s phrased so carefully, and I think you really are trying to be kind, but this sentence puts “being fat” on a par with something more like “never bathing”. (And it is the “being fat”, not the “overindulgence” itself, based on how this is phrased: you didn’t say something like “because it can make people uncomfortable to watch others display unhealthy behaviors, everyone, regardless of their size, should avoid overindulging”, but you singled out the overweight.)
People being fat is not about having to be asked; people don’t wake up in the morning and neglect to be thin today because it slipped their mind so they should maybe write it on their to-do list so folks won’t have to remind them. Person A never says to Person B, “It makes me concerned when you eat all that ice cream” in such a way that makes Person B go “Gosh, where are my manners”; at best you can make Person B eat ice cream in private rather than risk the judgment of friends and maybe develop an eating disorder.
Even if we operate under the assumption that fat is simplistically a function of exactly what you eat (in a neat and tidy way, so no one is fainting or unable to concentrate or miserable from hunger while failing to lose weight or anything terribly unfair that The Universe Is Not Allowed To Do like that)… this is still not a good way to paint it. This makes it sound like people around you being fat is a lousy thing for them to do to you.
What does it have to do with you? (I’d say, “You poor thing, do you have to look at them?” but I really do read you as being very sincerely well-intentioned here, so I’m just going to tuck the sarcasm that I can’t bear to delete into this parenthetical.) Do you have beliefs about their life expectancy that make you sad? If that’s it, do you avoid befriending old people or people with terminal illnesses or people who ride motorcycles or people with abusive spouses (or try to get them to stop being so old/sick/risky/abused so you won’t have to be sad)?
Well, I realize that personal health is a personal choice in most cases. But in the event of a collapse of civilization, there are points on every spectrum of behavior where you can draw a line and say that it is maladaptive, hence, wrong. That’s where I can draw the line. My ideals of how people should act draw from that picture, and while I won’t tell someone how they should act, I personally feel the pain of knowing that they are painting themselves out of a picture that is entirely possible to me. Whether I am deluded or not, I feel that sadness all the same.
General physical fitness is something that has a clear advantage in a primitive-life situation, and as long as that remains a possible future, it would be prudent to maintain that advantage, even if our modern society does not require it. If the preceding statement is false, please tell me why, so that I can understand the flaw in my thinking.
Well, I realize that personal health is a personal choice in most cases.
You might want to rethink your wording on that one. Perhaps ‘personal health status is a consequence of previous choices in many cases’ or something. As written it sounds a bit overstated.
General physical fitness and being fat are not mutually exclusive states. There’s an oft-quoted result from some study or other saying that people who are fat but in good shape (ie. aerobically fit) are healthier than thin people who never exercise and remain thin through diet or other means.
This is the first part of the thread to actually straight-up offend me. It’s phrased so carefully, and I think you really are trying to be kind, but this sentence puts “being fat” on a par with something more like “never bathing”. (And it is the “being fat”, not the “overindulgence” itself, based on how this is phrased: you didn’t say something like “because it can make people uncomfortable to watch others display unhealthy behaviors, everyone, regardless of their size, should avoid overindulging”, but you singled out the overweight.)
People being fat is not about having to be asked; people don’t wake up in the morning and neglect to be thin today because it slipped their mind so they should maybe write it on their to-do list so folks won’t have to remind them. Person A never says to Person B, “It makes me concerned when you eat all that ice cream” in such a way that makes Person B go “Gosh, where are my manners”; at best you can make Person B eat ice cream in private rather than risk the judgment of friends and maybe develop an eating disorder.
Even if we operate under the assumption that fat is simplistically a function of exactly what you eat (in a neat and tidy way, so no one is fainting or unable to concentrate or miserable from hunger while failing to lose weight or anything terribly unfair that The Universe Is Not Allowed To Do like that)… this is still not a good way to paint it. This makes it sound like people around you being fat is a lousy thing for them to do to you.
What does it have to do with you? (I’d say, “You poor thing, do you have to look at them?” but I really do read you as being very sincerely well-intentioned here, so I’m just going to tuck the sarcasm that I can’t bear to delete into this parenthetical.) Do you have beliefs about their life expectancy that make you sad? If that’s it, do you avoid befriending old people or people with terminal illnesses or people who ride motorcycles or people with abusive spouses (or try to get them to stop being so old/sick/risky/abused so you won’t have to be sad)?
Well, I realize that personal health is a personal choice in most cases. But in the event of a collapse of civilization, there are points on every spectrum of behavior where you can draw a line and say that it is maladaptive, hence, wrong. That’s where I can draw the line. My ideals of how people should act draw from that picture, and while I won’t tell someone how they should act, I personally feel the pain of knowing that they are painting themselves out of a picture that is entirely possible to me. Whether I am deluded or not, I feel that sadness all the same.
General physical fitness is something that has a clear advantage in a primitive-life situation, and as long as that remains a possible future, it would be prudent to maintain that advantage, even if our modern society does not require it. If the preceding statement is false, please tell me why, so that I can understand the flaw in my thinking.
You might want to rethink your wording on that one. Perhaps ‘personal health status is a consequence of previous choices in many cases’ or something. As written it sounds a bit overstated.
True, I was trying not to step on any more toes at that point.
General physical fitness and being fat are not mutually exclusive states. There’s an oft-quoted result from some study or other saying that people who are fat but in good shape (ie. aerobically fit) are healthier than thin people who never exercise and remain thin through diet or other means.
That’s a relevant clarification. Thank you. Given that additional point, my original question remains.